To Speak of the King

So i’m just going to say one “statement” or whatever you’d like to call it, before i start this.
Over the past few years, i’ve been feeling like the end of the world is coming. And it is coming, because it can’t go on forever.
—i’ll come back to this near the end.

Tonight i went to my youth pastors house with all the other youth leaders where we just ate dinner and talked about whats going on. And there’s a lot going on, both good and bad. And i believe that when bad things are happening it is because you are doing something in God’s favour or because God wants you to go through a specific event for the shaping of who you are to become. Everything for a purpose and meaning.

**
Now i’m a very calm person. I hardly ever get mad, I’m really not the aggressive type. BUT when i hear about things happening that the devil is doing, it raises some sort of anger inside me. I just feel like screaming and yelling at satan because in my perspective he has no right to be on this earth. To be in the presence of any person who is under God’s jurisdiction. which in all reality is every person who follows God.

So as we talked about whatever was going on with our youth. Mike, our youth pastor, said that he felt as though the world is coming to an end. and its soon.

And so to reconnect with my first statement. I believe we are soon to be in the climax of what is “the end of the world”. There will be trials left and right, there will be struggles in Gods movement, blockages, things getting in the way. We are to praise him and share him with our world because he loves us and wants us all to love him in return. And there is a movement. God is working, people are being saved and healed. The devil is working, but God is countering every move he makes and we need to be in the realization that GOD IS REAL. He is REAL, he is MOVING, he is OMNIPRESENT, He will save this world. As christians we need to holdfast in faith because there will be a day of judgement. Where those who believe in their creator’s love for them, will be called home to live next King of Glory. We will stand as brothers and sisters in faith, and stand with our King and feel his presence like you couldn’t imagine. 

Do you ever worship and feel that tingling throughout your whole body? or felt him run through your veins and you just about collapse? maybe you’ve heard him speak and felt something at that time. Maybe you’ve seen an angel or had one talk to you and felt the presence of God. whatever it is, I believe that home will be like that. It will be a place where its not only that one feeling, but all those feelings combined multiplied by an infinite amount of times. The feeling is indescribable, we will be in an everlasting state of praise and worship for our King. We will feel love like this earth does not have to offer. We will feel fulfillment and purpose. Happiness like you’ve never experienced. There will be dancing and singing and shouting of Jesus’ almighty name. And it will be for all of eternity.

How can i live, knowing that other people in the world don’t know my Jesus? 

So throughout life. everybody has more than good moment, more than one bad moment, more than one valley, and more than one victory. Lately its been on my heart to talk about the valley. 

We all enjoy the good parts in life, the happy times. The moments where our hearts are filled with the utmost joy, we feel like we can’t stop smiling and we’re on top of the world.

This was me a few weeks back. God came in and made everything feel right, everything was going in my favour and i felt so connected with God. I talked with him daily, he spoke through me at a small gathering, music and friends were going fantastic. I felt as though the devil couldn’t touch me. Call me ignorant or foolish but with God as my over-protective father, why should i fear the devil?

Recently he’s definitely tested me. With physical pain, with emotional warfare, and he has definitely tried to attack me spiritually. And i feel as though i’ve been sent to somewhat of a valley. But this one seems different than the other(s). My perspective has changed since the last time i was dragged through the valley. Because of valley’s in the past i’ve been built stronger in faith and trust and no longer do i feel the need to take the easy path. If God is in control, which he always is, then what he is doing with me is obviously for my greater good.

. .…………. .

The valley was always explained to me as a place of darkness and trials. A place where the devil lurks and tests your insecurities or your weakest points. The second you feel a moment of joy or happiness— he robs you of it. He tries to separate every connection with God you have, to make you weak and vulnerable.

 I think its better said that the valley is a place where we meet Jesus. And he faces us with deep scars on his face from the crown of thorns, holes in his hands and feet from the nails, and torn flesh covering his body. Taking us, hand in hand, through thorns and mud. He whispers to us, “we are in the shadow of your victory and i will build you stronger.” While the devil screams at us, “You are weak and will suffer in this valley of death and it will defeat you”. 

We are given the CHOICE who to listen to. And i think its not always easy to go with Jesus, because we want the easy way out. The distorted way the devil has made seem appealing. For instance — cutting, suicide, eating-disorders, whatever form of coping that makes the pain go away.

Without the valley we would be weak and we would never grow. We would never learn anything, we would never know Jesus other than a character in a book. Because who can believe, trust, love and have faith in somebody who you’ve never met. So Jesus calls us in the place of despair and trials where we meet him and where he will one day lead us out.

And throughout it all we need to praise him.
Preach his name.
Give our pains and struggles over to him.
Trust in him and fear will not be in our vocabulary. 

Let him empty us of ourselves and let him fill it with himself.  

So tonight for the first time, I spoke of God to a group of people. it was 1 minute, maybe 2 so no spectacular sermon but a step in the direction of Gods will. but speaking tonight was rather strange. cause for the most part i’ve only said small amounts of things in general conversations like a sentence or small tid bit of something, or written about it on tumblr. But it was probably one of the greatest feelings speaking of God.

The overwhelming love of God was completely overtaking me. Truthfully, i could barely stand, my legs were shaking. I was sitting at the back before i shared, just thinking about what i wanted to say, or how i was going to say what i wanted to. but i completely blanked. and honestly, God just took over.

From my perspective. I stood there, everything was white. mind blank. and it was just me and Jesus, standing there. Just sharing about a vision i’ve had for a while now. and just describing my vision, i saw nothing but a perfect picture of Gods kingdom. If there were words on this earth to describe this scene to its justifying perfection that it deserves, It would take me an 800 page book to describe its full glory. man. things are definitely headed in the right direction. with music. with God. with life.

Praise God in everything. Cause without God.
What are we, but dust. 

Simplistically its all about God. What you hear, what you see, what you speak, what you think, what you dream, what you aspire, what you want, what you need. Everything should be about God. I’ve found throughout my past that I haven’t really been much of a christian until I had a true encounter with God. I never truly believed in him until he screamed words of prophecy to me, where i insecurely and unfaithfully asked for proof that what he says isn’t just my head and that its real. expecting nothing — 2 days later i get a letter of confirmation, word for word, the prophecy he had spoken to me.

I’m mainly talking about this because i’m considering sharing my testimony to a group of people that i don’t know particularly well. Now in most testimonies i’ve listened to — the story line goes like this.
1 - I was raised in a christian home
2 - I was an average christian, attended church, went to youth etc.
3 - things were great, had good friends, did fine in school etc.
4 - all of a sudden everything went terrible. this failed, that sucked etc.
5 - when i was at my lowest of low and wanted to end it all. God came in.
6 - slowly things got better
7 - ____ just happened and since then i’ve been great and everythings going well.

Now i have no problem with that. But i’ve been thinking about number 5 in that list. the lowest of low — the valley. Why do we not preach from the valley? Why do we wait for our victory? For everything to be fine and dandy until we share. Well because we want to show how things were and how great they are now, and how everything’s great. And how even when things are tough, we get through it with God and he’ll bring us out when we’re at our lowest of lows.

In actuality we should preach from the valley, from our time of struggle and pain. In the book of Job, he has everything taken from him by the devil. His family, his flock, everything. And yet he cries out nothing but praise to the Lord. He was in his lowest of low and still praised the Lord. Where as for most of us, we shun God and try to do it by ourselves when we think he wont come through for us. Because we lose faith in his ability to help us through our struggles. But how could a human, a speck on earth, an insignificant being — be smarter and wiser than the Almighty creator, God.

Follow in faith, through struggle, and speak his word no matter the timing.

“Preach the story.
 Let roots grow into a pillar of trees
 For we have been blessed
 with tongues to pronounce”
-TSAS lyrics

I’ve been listening to a few pastors the last few days cause I’ve been a little on the down side. So i just spend a couple hours listening to pastors and trying to get a stronger grasp of Gods will and his teachings, its somewhat of a calming thing for me.

Recently I’ve been strongly struggling with loving a girl who’s so far out of the picture, it seems impossible to be anything more than friends. But its been making me think about the past a lot and the times we’ve had, are having, and are going to have. and how they wash over us, and we dont think much of them until they’re gone. That’s when we realize that we miss those moments.

And how if I miss this girl so much, why do i not miss Jesus this much? Why dont i crave to seek Jesus as much as i want to seek this girl? It seems really stupid and immature of me to want to have a girl that i can’t. But there’s Jesus just waiting for me and wanting me but i just don’t crave it enough to take it.

Jesus calls out to every single one of us every day. Craving our attention and love. But we’re so concerned on our materialistic lives that we miss it. When it comes down to it, we’re all in this world trying to set up our lives. We want the perfect spouse someday, the perfect house, the perfect family. We want to be financially stable, have a nice car or two. Whatever it is you name it. Basically what i’m getting at is that a lot of us have missed it. If we’re living our day-to-day lives and being a christian is believing in God, going to church, resisting sin, and trying not to swear. Then we’ve obviously missed something.

To be honest. i could care less for any of that. and that’s not to say that i dont want a wife, or dont want a nice car, or to be financially stable, or to have a nice house. thats not what i’m getting at. What i’m getting at is simply asking the question— How can i serve in God’s Kingdom of Heaven?

For me. My part in the Kingdom of Heaven is to play music for a crowd of Non-believers. To be booed off the stage for speaking of Gods love. But to proclaim Gods name, and that he reigns King. And serve God with all that i have. If i end up thousands of dollars in debt but have led one person to Christ, its worth it. Even if all I’ve done is sparked a slow growing fire in somebody’s soul. It’s worth it. And i definitely don’t say this to stand above anybody because i dont stand above anybody. Its more of something to think about.

I miss this girl, but God misses me more. He’s waiting for the perfect timing of my story to unfold. He’s just waiting in heaven calling. Saying “Come home son. This is where you belong.” But until i have finished my calling on this earth, I cannot return home. So i guess its just a matter of patience and walking with God through the hard times.

So i’ve been thinking about life. and about death.
and about the way i live and think.

There are things in this world that I wish
I could have. But i could never have.
I wont list what it is. But there are things that i just can’t have.
One of which — everybody in this world desires. and almost all
of which, indulge in it. And i’ve leave it at that.

And i’ve been thinking about death.
Sounds morbid. but just thinking about whether i’m ready
and if i’m scared
and if it’ll hurt
and how it’ll come about.
But i know It’s not my time to die yet so I’m really not worried.
I do not fear death, or pain, only Gods holy wrath.

There is a purpose for everybody on this earth, and when that
purpose is fulfilled. Only then, is it time to go home.
But along with the thought of death is the thought of old age.
I dont believe i’ll live to be very old honestly. I think my time on this earth will end much before i reach the age of 70, even 60. I wouldn’t be surprised if i was done at 30 or 40.

But as much as i’ve been thinking about death, i’ve been thinking about life. and the joys it brings. how it brings love and friends and community. And how much i’ve enjoyed the times that have passed, how much i’m currently enjoying it and how much i’m going to enjoy in the future. 

And so, a while ago God said to me, “this is the beginning” and so i’ve been thinking about that, and what it means. i’m still trying to figure out this story that God’s slowly unfolding. But recently i’ve felt that he’s been saying, “this is a new chapter coming up”. So i’m looking forward to it. i have a good feeling about this. He’s told me things about whats coming up and when some things will happen. and i’m looking forward to it. and i’ve got this weird feeling that when summer’s past. Somethings going to change. and i don’t know what it is. but its good. and thats all i can tell. 

All i can say is. Obeying God in everything, in tough and easy times. is probably the best decisions i’ve made. not saying that i’m perfect at all. because i struggle daily. but obedience leads to trust. and trust leads to something beautiful. something unfathomable. It leads to a true relationship with God. A relationship that does nothing but build you stronger, one that loves, encourages, brings you your sweetest victories and in the end. Will lead you back home, where you will stand at the throne with the King. Humbled by his presence and lit ablaze for the kingdom of heaven. 

So a couple days ago I bought Mattie Montgomery’s 2nd preaching album, The Keys To Open Ancient Gates. In one of the tracks he talks about the death and resurrection of christ. And he said something that really struck me. He said

“Damon Thompson teaches that Jesus didn’t die on the cross so we wouldn’t have to. He died on the cross to show us how.”

And i’m not saying that this is the reason that he died for us. i’m not saying that what he said is true or not. because its just a way of thinking.
But i’ve just thought about that a lot. I mean think about it. He showed us how to die on the cross. How to sacrifice our lives for the benefit of others. How to live a life of full-hearted love to our Father, God. Man I want passion like that. I mean i’m ready to sacrifice any sort of chance i have of having a family in the future, ready to sacrifice financial stability, sacrifice my close friendships if it means i can bring people closer to God. People who don’t know him or have been scarred by the corrupt ways of a friend, family member, a church, or any sort of organization. And I don’t say this to stand on a pedestal. I say this because It’s really shown me how the things i’m ready to sacrifice are NOTHING compared to what the King of Glory sacrificed for us. 

Kay. so check it. i’ve been listening to MM some more, and man he just speaks the true word of God. Like, I believe that when somebody has a true and pure connection with the lord, our God, that we will no longer speak the words of our own, but that of the lords. And Mattie speaks it just so purely and truly.

So he talks about the story in Luke, chapter 8,  where there is a woman who has been subject to bleeding for 12 years, and exhausted all her financial resources, nobody could heal her and she had nothign left. 

And i’ve been thinking about that. if i was bleeding for 12 years i’d be sick of it. i’ve had injuries where i bleed for 1 week, and that drives me nuts, i just want it healed. but no matter how hard i try it’s going to take the WHOLE week. now imagine, 12 years of bleeding not knowing when it could stop and if its ever going to stop. thats crazy. think of the faith. think of the strength. think of how desperate she must be.

So she, in full hearted belief in the healing and power of God, crawls through a crowd of people just so she could touch the hem of his garment. 

She was instantly healed.

oh man. INSTANTLY. no, well maybe in another 12 years i’ll heal you. INSTANTLY. she’s healed, think of the relief, the happiness, the thankfulness she must have felt.


Man. Jesus may not walk this earth right now, but upon the return of our King Jesus i will touch the hem of his garment and be healed from all that is unholy. spread it to the world, let them know that his robe extends across the world and all you have to do.
is reach for it.
and touch it.

Oh how sweet that day is going to be.
The future is an exciting place.

Man. i’ve just been going through some of the testimonies and videos of Mattie Montgomery on his website. and man. God is moving, like for real.
Like i’ve been feeling nothing but the presence of God today. and
man it feels so good.

Like forget everything earthly. FORGET IT.
Gods moving. He’s coming. Get ready, cause its going to be huge.
I can feel it in my bones. Big things are going to happen.
Jesus’ return is imminent.  He will walk the earth again.
and that I can Guarantee.  

He has spoken of his return. and it has been planned
and it is unfolding.
Just wait.

For the return of the King. 

I saw this verse today and it kind of stuck out to me.

Mainly because the people i look up to are all preachers,
prophets, speakers of God. Whatever you may call it. and
This verse kind of answers a bit of my last post about MH
and how theres something about him that i think is so awesome
but could never really figure out until I really thought about it
along side this verse.

Hebrews 13:7 says ::

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you.
Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

To have the courage and strength to stand
before hundreds or/of thousands and declare to the christians and non-Christians of
the metal scene. That you believe in the living God and that he is their Lord
and savior is something amazing and extremely difficult to do. As Mattie Montgomery said in “Joshua Generation” of “when the sons become fathers”,
 When we have a clear connection with the Lord God Almighty only then will we be
in silenced and let our words be the Lords words, and he will speak through us.
I hope that i have the opportunity to do such a thing, and I would give up anything
in this world to speak the word of God to people across the nations through music.

I can honestly say. Mike Hranica and Mattie Montgomery will always be my
inspiration in faith. And I will always look up to them as the true men of God that 
they are.

So this weekend. as everybody who follows me would know. there was a youth leaders retreat at a cabin on cultas lake. Needless to say, it was sick. So much fun just hanging out, eating food together, watching movies, sharing God, and just encouraging others. and it seems that, just like last year, the saturday night of the weekend was the best time out of the whole weekend.

Sitting around and just talking about one person for like 10-20 minutes. Just letting them know what you think Gods doing in their lives, how they’ve affected you, retelling funny stories or whatever. So good. And i loved how i just wanted to say something to somebody, but i had no idea what i wanted to say, but God would just in the moment tell me. And i loved that. And it says in scripture that When you have a pure and strong connection with the Lord that when you speak it will not be your words that come from your tongue but the Lord, your God’s voice speaking. And man.. i am stoked for when i have the privilege to let God use my voice to speak to others.

So for our weekend of partying, hanging out, and worshiping the lord, we started a circle where we would say something encouraging about one person or something that you felt God was telling you about them that they needed to hear. so we were in this circle, me being 3rd last, i was trying to think of what people would say of me, what they thought of what i had in store. 
And i was more stoked to hear what they had to say than what i was going to say to others. and truthfully after they had spoken to me, i realized that i loved telling people what God was telling me about them, more than hearing what people thought God was telling them about me.

You know.. Its an odd thing hearing from God. And i can confidently say that both weekends i have been there. God has clearly spoken to me. And i dont want to be little it at all. Like its not like him normally speaking, where its like “well maybe that was him.. or maybe i’m just making it up in my head.” it was like “God was saying this is me. listen. this is something you NEED to know. and i will repeat it as many times as it takes until you realize it”
so as soon as he said for me to listen. i left the room, grabbed my book and wrote down exactly what he said to me.

And its weird. i have this thing with God where he likes to keep things in confidentiality. Where I am not to speak of what he has told me. which is cool but kind of tough, since what he spoke to me is the best thing i have heard in probably a years time. And i wish i could share it with the world. But its all in Gods time, and just know that ya’ll need to be stoked because things are going to change and going to be sooo sweet.

Man so i’ve been listening to Mattie Montgomery’s album “When the Sons Become Fathers”. and HOOOLLLYYY is that filled with some strong stuff. and i’ve been listening to it over and over and over. and let me tell you. it is truely inspiring. you all NEED. to hear it.

I have been thinking a lot about the future and where to go. And the calling on my life. and let me tell you. God has revealed to me today. what i am meant to do. for the REST of my life. and i’m so stoked for it.

this quote is from “House of Mirrors” in Mattie’s album. definitely buy it. best 8 bucks i’ve ever spent. i highly suggest it.

:: He will accept us as his. and will take us into the holy place, and clothe us with his garments of majesty. THIS is where our home is. And from before the foundations of the earth were laid. The Maker has been calling you. 

So lately i’ve had a real struggle with trusting God with things in my life. And trusting what he has in store for me in terms of a musical career. And it makes it worse that i struggle with patience. Like I dont look forward to a lot of things, or get excited about them. But when i do — i get super excited and can’t stop thinking about it. For instance ::

this picture.

I love this picture. Its super inspirational. and when i look at it i just get so pumped because this is something that i want to do. — play for thousands of people and share the word of god. And just the way everybody has their hands up, its like everybody there is just praising god. and thats so sick.

And looking at this picture and then back to where i am right now. it just seems like such a far thing to grasp for. And things like this are impossible to get to. But just thinking about playing for that many people and getting a chance to share god is such a sweet thing and i hope i get the opportunity to do that.

A lot of the posts after this are ones i posted on my other tumblr a while back. so when im up to snuff with posting weekly or however often i do it. i’ll start adding some sort of dates or something.

For those of you who dont know. This is a blog purely devoted to sharing the word of God and speaking of him and his ways. I do vocals for a metal band, i’m a full hearted christian, and i want nothing more than to spread the love and word of our King Jesus, Our God.